Living with your Demons
"Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?”
“Yes, that’s what I asked. Are you okay?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I ask because I care.”
“No, I mean, why are you asking specifically, like, right now? Today? Do I not seem okay?”
“Well, you’re not usually this quiet.”
“Quiet? I’m talking literally right now as we speak.”
“Funny.”
“Thank you. But I’m also serious. I’m talking. That’s not really what I’d call quiet.”
“To be fair, you seem like you’re speaking under duress.”
“Under what?”
“Duress. Like, I don’t know, like you’re talking because you’re being forced to, but not because you want to.”
“Well, you started it. I was perfectly fine a minute ago.”
“I don’t think you were. You were awfully quiet. Like, painfully so.”
“Like I was in pain?”
“No, like you were so quiet that it hurt everyone around you.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Sure it does, you just don’t want it to make sense.”
“You’re really reading a lot into a couple minutes of silence.”
“An hour.”
“An hour? Really?”
“Really really.”
“Okay, fine, that is a little strange.”
“Thus my concern.”
“Well, I mean, I don’t think I feel bad.”
“You could be wrong about that.”
“I feel like this is an acceptable judgement call. My brain, my choice.”
“Still, it seemed like a fair line of inquiry.”
“I do have a little bit of a headache.”
“Aha! There we go. A problem. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just a little headache. I think I slept weird.”
“And why do you suppose that is?”
“I don’t know, maybe I need a new pillow. Maybe I shouldn’t have coffee so close to bedtime.”
“That’s definitely something we should look into having you stop doing, yeah. But is there something else going on?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. It’s not like I was kept up all night by the voices of my inner demons or something.”
“I don’t do that. I know how important sleep is, and I keep all my questions to myself until you wake up.”
“Plus, I guess you’re more of an outer demon than an inner one, right?”
“Yes, I don’t do possession. That’s cheating.”
“Yes, you’re very considerate.”
“Thank you. Now let’s get back to what’s bothering you.”
“Other than you, a handful of restless spirits, an ancient curse, warnings of imminent world destruction and a slight headache?”
“You forgot the impending deadline on your next book.”
“Fuck.”
“Exactly. How’s it coming with the draft?”
“Shut up, I have to work.”
“Okay, that’s fair. I’ll just hang out here and play Animal Crossing while I wait.”
“While you wait? For what?”
“For you to ask for my help. Again.”
“That was one time.”
“That’s all it takes. And look at us now.”
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be.”
Sigh. “No, unfortunately. You’re my only mortal obligation.”
“Your only obligation? I thought you demons had a lot of things to do. Topple governments, shatter faith, break hearts, that kind of thing.”
“Well, in the old days, maybe. Times have changed. We don’t have the impact we used to have. Nobody really... well, never mind. You’ve got work to do.”
….
“Demon?”
“Yes?”
“Are you okay?”