A Long Long Time Ago...

I’ve never sat on the floor of a theater before. It’s probably filthy, and I’m pretty sure my mom would have grounded me for doing something so horribly irresponsible, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt me. Besides, I’m seven. Being seven means you get to do stupid things like sit on the carpet in the aisle of a movie theater.

Also besides…. This was Star Wars.

I didn’t even know what to expect. All my friends at school were talking about it, and it had been made by a guy who had actually grown up here in my hometown. Modesto, California finally had a citizen to be proud of, I guess. So naturally it was a big deal here. The line had been all the way around the block. Literally, a blockbuster. And we almost didn’t get in. The usher was about to cut the line off, but my sister told me to cry, because we didn’t have enough money to watch a later showing. It worked. Alligator tears, more successful than I’d realized. This is an important lesson to learn when you’re seven.

Matinee prices still left us no money for popcorn, but I didn’t care. I just didn’t care at all.

Just sitting here, waiting for the lights to go off. Waiting for the previews. Waiting for that unexpected line of text which would forever overshadow my creative ambitions. I had no idea into the depths of my brain would this movie’s tendrils dig. I had no idea I would be having dinner with Chewbacca decades later. I had no idea I’d get to say hello to C-3PO and Carrie Fisher after so many years would have gone by. I was seven. I didn’t know at all what was about to happen.

The floor beneath my butt was already uncomfortable, but I didn’t realize that I wouldn’t even care five minutes from now. I didn’t care that I was technically a fire hazard. I’m glad I’m too young to know what butt cramps are. Those are for old people, right? This carpet is ugly. Like, super ugly. I wonder how many people have walked on it. I mean, there’s like 300 people in here right now, and probably a third of them walked on it, and they’ll walk on it again to get out. And there’s like 5 or 6 movies a day, times seven days a week. That’s …. Well, that’s 4th grade math, totally out of my league. It’s a lot, though. Lots of feet walking on this ugly carpet. Actually, I should probably be more impressed. Lots of feet and the carpet is still colorful enough to be ugly. That is kind of cool, I guess. I bet nicer looking carpet wouldn’t last as long. Math is hard. I’ll bet carpet making is even harder. I don’t know.

I don’t care.

Someone needs to turn off the lights. I’m gonna lose my mind. I’ve got my favorite Minnesota Vikings shirt on; doesn’t that mean something? They were super bowl champs, right? Doesn’t that mean they should turn off the lights and start the movie? The theater is full (did I mention, that’s why I’m sitting on the floor?) and I’m already bouncing in place, and they haven’t even dimmed the lights. This moment is going to last for fricking EVER. I wish I was older so I could use the Big F word. That one would probably be better for this moment. For now, it’s either “fricking” or “firetruck.” Those are good F word replacements.

I didn’t even know how much I needed this movie. It’s about space, right? Space and...wars of some kind. Space movies are great. Space Space Space. I know almost as much about space as I do about dinosaurs, and I know a LOT about dinosaurs. Seriously, ask me anything. And space is so cool. We landed on the moon just about a decade ago, and now we’re having wars in space? What a great time to be alive!

There’s supposed to be aliens, too. I know that much for sure. Spaceships, aliens, laser guns and, if the movie commercial is right, laser SWORDS. How is that even possible? LASER SWORDS. Oh my gosh, this is just too much for one seven year old to bear.

Come on, people. TURN OFF THE LIGHTS. I’M TOO YOUNG TO HANDLE THIS KIND OF EXCITEMENT.  Don’t make me cry again. I totally will. Don’t challenge me.

I swear to god, if Spider Man is in this movie, I can die happy. That would be amazing. Can you imagine a world where space ships and Spider man both exist? Okay, don’t spoil it for me. My older me already knows Avengers: Infinity War, but right now I’m only seven and I can barely handle all THIS excitement. 

I’m so glad I already peed or I might do that now.

Space. Lasers. Aliens. Like, seriously, three of my favorite things, and they’re all about to appear on this screen in front of me. OH MY GOD. I’m just going to explode. And then die. And maybe catch on fire. And then die again. Can anything be more amazing than this?

Why aren’t they turning off the lights?? I need to watch this movie! I need….!

YES! HERE WE GO! LET’S DO THIS! LET IT BEGIN!

“.....a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…..”

YES!